Tuesday, May 30, 2006

狙え! アクセスアップ! BY トラフィックエクスチェンジ!

この記事だけは毛色が違います。
日本ではbloggerは肩身が狭いです。放置しておいたら一日1アクセスもありません。
で、此処は頼りましょう! 日本語オートサーフに!

今までは、日本語サイトはスクリプトエラーや文法ミスが多くて、まったくサーフできませんでしたが、思い切ってMozillaに変え、ファイアウォールのセキュリティレヴェルを落とし、お小遣い系にも目を通すことにしました。

以下、わたしがお世話になっております強力アクセスアップツールをPR致します!

先ずは読んでもらうため、日本語サーフから。

HTML型の二つです。


Plusone+Surf!


■ Plusone+Surf!概要 ■
ホームページ名称:Plusone+Surf!
URL:http://www.plusoneplus.com/surf/
カテゴリ:アクセスアップ支援

ご紹介していただける場合のPRなど
・還元率100%のトラフィックエクスチェンジです
・新規ポイント300ポイント+PR隊メンバーID記入で200ポイント
・PR隊に参加すると+500ポイント
・格安広告もアフィリエイトID入りで200円から!
・さまざまなイベントでご利用者の皆様をサポートします!

「あく<br />せすなび」、只今、無料登録受付中!!
紹介者ID:uzukiharuha によりA>
ポイント倍増!


あくせすなびの概要。
相互リンクして頂けるので、しっかり読んでもらえます!
リンク先を自分で構築するより、現存するサイトにリンクして貰ったほうがわたしの如き初心者には最適です。
相互リンクは結構難しいものです。
募集しても、リンク相手は中々捕まえられません。
といって、登録代行屋さんに依頼すると、膨大な数の個人検索エンジンに登録されてしまい、後のメンテナンスが超大変。(経験者は語る……)
宣伝し隊の募集は終了してしまいましたが、隅っこにでもリンクして貰えたら其れだけでもう感謝感激落涙モンです。

---------------

そしてポピュラーなView4Credit型、です。



ミリオンチェンジ - ブログ専用・オートサーフ型トラフィックエクスチェンジ!

◎ ブログ専用なのでウィルス感染などのリスクが小さく安心!
◎ ご利用無料。各種ランキングとも連動し、超アクセスアップが可能!
◎ 国内の高品質・強力サーバーで快適・安心!
◎ 利用者が多いのでポイント消費が早い!アクセスも多い!
◎ 一階層下までの紹介制度で効率良くポイントゲット!
◎ 新規登録ボーナス 500 ポイント!(※メルマガ同時登録の場合)
◎ ミリオンチェンジを宣伝すると 最大 3,000 ポイントプレゼント!

ブログランキングで有名です。
不幸にもbloggerはありませんけれど。

ブログホイホイ!は、言わずもがなの有名高級サーフ!
二〇〇五年、一度窮地に陥って、其れでもゴキブリ以上にしぶとく生存競争に打ち勝った、伝説のオートサーフです。

此れ等二つはブログ専門です。
bloggerにはうってつけ。
たかがブログと侮る無かれ、です。いまやブログが素人サイトの大半を占めています。
もっと胸張って、自分のブログ、宣伝しましょう!

----------

オレンジトラフィックはトラフィックエクスチェンジを中心とした、SEO対策にも有効な無料で使える総合アクセスアップサイト!

オレンジトラフィックならポイントを貯めてお小遣いが稼げます!
オートサーフやクリック広告で貯まったポイントの買い取りサービスを行っています。是非ご利用ください。

オレンジトラフィックはトラフィックエクスチェンジ型のアクセスアップツールです

あなたが閲覧したサイト数に応じたポイントが獲得できます。獲得したポイントを使えば、あなたのホームページに訪問者が訪れます。すぐに効果が出る即効性の高いアクセスアップツール!
どなたでも無料でご利用いただけます。
勿論、有料会員様は高待遇です。
ま、取り敢えず無料会員から入ってみましょう。

--------------
後外せないのは、【もっとアクセスUP】です!!!

此れ一つで一日千五百は稼げます!
老舗中の老舗です。手動と自動が選べて、かなり強力に自分のサイトをアピールできます。
もう必須ですね。

但し!
多重ログインはやめましょう!

焦る気持ちも痛いほど理解できますが、マナー違反です。
自分が誰のサイトも見ないなら、自分のサイトだって見てもらえないまま流されてしまいます。

どんなサイトにも、必ず有効な情報が詰め込まれています。
わたしのみたいなぼやきにでも、世情を反映させています。
お小遣い系だって本当に儲かる人は儲かっています。けっしてponziじゃありません。
書いてくれた方の身になって、マナーを守りましょうね。

--------------

しか~し、魂を悪魔に売ってでもアクセス数が欲しいもいらっしゃるはず。
「読んで貰わなくてもいい」「ひたすらカウンタを回したい!」って方、思い切って、外国語サーフを利用してみては如何でしょうか。

以下のファミリはとにかくカウンタを回してくれます。全部回転させておけば、一日一万アクセスも普通です。
しかし、決して読んでは貰えません。
何故なら、見る人がほとんど外国語人だから。
偶に英語で媚を売って、何とか凌ぎましょう。
割り切れる方のみ、お勧めします。わたしは現在使用しておりません。

126hits.com

surfbuster.net

autohits247.com

autohits.info

Trafficsurf.net

216hits.com

autosurf.cc

autosurf.org

website-traffic.cc

autohits.org

126hits.de

trafficsurf.de

名称も画面も似たようなものばかりで、やってると訳分かんなくなってきます。
おまけに突き放し型。ウィンドウがダダアーっと開きます。
しかし、カウンタ回転には非常に強力な味方です。
ただ、本当に読んでは貰えません。
サイト認証も一日掛かることもあります。
ドイツ語も混じってます。

要注意は、Myfuncards.smileycentral.comや、www.imagecash.netやjp.errorsafe.comといった別サイトに飛んでしまうことです。
errorsafe.comは、一寸前のwinfixer2005と同じです。
間違ってもインストールしないでください!
Cドライブ全削除しないとならくなります。

以上、弱気なbloggerよりお送りしました、アクセスアップの表技と裏技です。
楽天のように、一日のアクセス数だけで順位が決まるところでは、裏技も有り、かも???

でも、出来れば日本語は日本語サーフで援助して貰いましょう!
読んで貰えない空っぽアクセス数では、全く意味がありません。
でも、googleページランクは上がりますよ。

Monday, May 29, 2006

w食尽聖女

あなたは何も知らないでわたしを聖視する
あなたの褒め言葉全部がわたしを呪縛する
あなたの吐息が一筋
わたしの項に垂れて
もうわたし動けない
好きにして
其れしか言えない
ねえ知ってる?
わたしの本性を
夜のわたしはね
左膝に仕組んだ短剣を左手で逆手に持ち
狙った相手の右目を潰しひるませておき
帯刀したわたしの右手が風を切る
閃光一条暗闇を裂き相手の首が地面に転がる
いい感じよ
宙を切り首を斬って噴出す血潮を全身に浴びるの
頬を伝う血が口に入るととっても美味
グルタミン酸満点の出汁が効いた旨味
獲物の体が倒れる前に右手の刀で壁に釘付ける
そして優しく肩を抱き
生温かい切断面に舌を滑らす
首はもう駄目
土で汚れちゃった
だから胴体は大事にね
壁に打ち付けて血を啜るのよ
相手の身体が空っぽになっていくのが分かるわ
その分わたしの体重は増えて胃が満たされるよ
砂漠では其れが日常
戦場では此れが礼儀
わたしもいつかは食われるでしょうね
そんなこと考えると眠れないほど快感
ねえこんなわたしでもあなたはまだ褒めてくれるの?
そうこんなわたしならあなたに突き放されてもいい?
ニッポンではジョークになるのね
中東一帯での深刻状況も野蛮行為も
本当の話よ
わたし何度も味わった血の甘味と砂の苦味
この街でジェラートを舐めるように
あの街で血肉を食らうの
獣も魚も鳥も魚も人も同じく食物
食い尽くすわたし其れでも聖女?
あなたは引くのね
わたしは追わない
追うならもっとスリルが欲しい
あなたじゃつまんないが過ぎる
もっと追わせて
だから追わないで
追い詰める快感は最高のβENDORPHINE源
ぬめる血と裂ける肉と折れる骨とが相俟って
極上和牛よりもずっと美味しいの
狂ってる?
そうねよく言われるわ
そうよ自覚もあるもの
でも此れが日常の世界もこの地球上には現存するのよ
知ったかぶりの人道支援など蹴散らかす常識が在るわ
ニッポンじゃ人が一人死ねば事件と騒ぐけれど
インドネシアで六千人死んでも他人事で片付ける
どっちが狂ってる?
生きたまま白魚を飲み込むのは野蛮じゃないの?
自分の身を削がれて盛られた活き魚は哀れじゃないの?
嗚呼いい感じあなた段々行き詰ってる
こうして誰かを窮地に追い込むのって
何より快感
此れでもあなたわたしを聖いと評する?
其れでもわたしあなたに縛られたい
肌に食い込むワイヤーが気持ちいい
あなたの吐息この世で最強の有刺鉄線
野蛮な女は追いたい追われたい縛られたい食いたい食われたい
思考ばらばら
だけどあなたの視線だけは真実
もっと鋭く貫いて深く抉ってよ
できないのなら早く言って頂戴
もう用は無いお役御免
他の誰かを探して周り
飽きたらまた旅立つわ
あの
食物連鎖の中に
自然の掟の中に
聖なる戦場へと
狩をするため食らうため
わたしこの国を捨てる
こんなわたし狂った聖女
食らい尽くす野蛮な聖女

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

wr暁の夜鷹

今日も明けて風が吹き過ぎ去る
紅の空には不安定な心模様が映し出される
夕凪の頃にいつもの癖が始まり
今日一日分の後悔が浮かび出る
薄汚れた街には
喜怒哀楽の怒ばかりが目立ち
うらぶれた交差点では
怒りに打ちのめされた悲しみが転がる
喜と楽は一体何処へ消え去ったのだろう
何気ない励ましに感じた喜びや
素気ないお遊びに覚えた楽しみは忘れて久しい
街では皆怒っているか泣いている
其の果てに辿り着くのは諦めだけ
どん底に落ちた積りがまだまだ底は深くて
わたしはどんどん堕ちていく
他の生物と何処が如何違って
人間は素直に自分の気持ちを伝えられないのだろう
押し付けられた法律か
古びてて朽ちた慣習か
脳髄に刻まれた戒律か
そんなもの全て捨てて
獣のように街中を全裸で歩き性交し排泄すれば
軽犯罪法違反で逮捕されるけど
其れもいいかな
其れでいいよな
だってわたしを裁かれるのは
わたしを産み育て養った人達だけ
わたしは其れ以外の如何なる権力にも暴力にも道徳にも従わない
こんなことを口走るわたしは精神科医の言う通り
人の倫から外れた規格外製品なのか
其れはいいかな
其れがいいよな
人間じゃなくても良い
人間じゃ無いから良い
窮屈な常識をぶち破り
思う侭夜走ろう
暁には吼えよう
白昼こそ眠ろう
夜に走る非人だ
川に浸る夜鷹だ
食物連鎖に従った弱肉強食を求めよう
食われても良い
食っているのだから
何かに屠られ排泄され地に還る
何て寂しい貧しいそして美しい生き方
初夏の暁に吼える
わたしは誰?
わたしは何?
答えは無い?
当たり前
誰に問うているのかすら判らない狂った脳には
パキシルは効かない
真昼に眠り深夜走る暮らしでは
ベゲタミンは効かない
自傷行為の痕跡たる赤蚯蚓這う身体には
コントミンは効かない
アルコールとニコチンが充満していれば満足
出来るなら安い加工品じゃなく原料を食いたい
其れだけで良い
其れだけが良い
其れだけを願い
其れだけを祈る
わたし暁の夜鷹

Sunday, May 21, 2006

rLove of eternity.

I looked for you and, from far-off old days to today, repeated transmigration.

Lovers look in a mysterious mirror to sometimes project fate on.

Therefore we continue a reincarnation trip to realize the scene which I watched.

Lovers come across you by all means somewhere in the times when they do not yet know each other.

Our love does a trip endlessly a typhoon to rage carries butterflies, and to join it together.

It was carried to some same place at a certain time and should have met us.
However, I repeat a wound, the same mistake by a look-ahead by fate, and we can be hurt with each other and part.

We sail up time to sail up a torrent toward the river where a fish was born and will make sure of each other for each other.

We exceed time and wander in space and do a trip in search of love.

I repeat transmigration so that all life is concluded.

I take in strength of your arm in the tears which occasionally overflow and soak myself in DE JA VU.

I throw away the present and I force it whether it is that mind why we came across first and want to come back to a place.

Everybody dies, and both I and you will part again this time.

It is an opening and a promise of a reencounter.

We will come across a partner of fate by all means.

Even if you overlook me, I will find you out.

Because I continued purging you from a far-off past, I find you by all means this time and show it.

Therefore you live without dying till I am found by me, and wait for me.

To let love of eternity grow sometime.

rBINT METHUSELAH.

ハラキリしても死なない
蜥蜴も蠍も仙人掌も食う
そんなわたしを
兵士が呼んだ
メトセラの娘と
九六九歳まで生きた
スーパー長寿のメトセラ
旧約聖書が真実なら
わたし達皆兄弟姉妹
全ての恋愛は近親相姦
全世界ソドムとゴモラ
両腕を広げて
神の鉄槌を受け止めよう
誰が言ったか
人類は皆兄弟姉妹だと
若し其れも真実なら
DNAの螺旋がが辿り着く唯一つの且つ九割以上の
同一性は何を意味するのか
蝿も人も遺伝子の九十七パーセントは同じだ
其のように戦場で喚くわたしを
肌の色目の色顔立ち全て違う人々が
口を揃えて非難する
偽善と欺瞞の娘だと
あんた達こそイカれてはいないか
信仰のために生物を殺す
信心のために同種を殺す
そして自分だけが救われようと祈る
其の祈るべき神の差異こそが諸悪の根源なのに
許しを請うのは神こそが為すべき子等への贖罪
メトセラの娘は昨日帰還した
黄沙舞う戦場から
聖なる屠殺場から
其の名はパレスチナ
呪われし祝福の聖地
堕ちた殺戮の極楽所
メトセラの娘とわたしを呼ぶ場所

r輝夜姫~序~

昔々月読命の支配する月世界は楽園だった
月人達は機能を憂えず明日を夢見ず
唯今のみを楽しみ暮らした
其処には季候も時流も寝食も呼吸すらも無かった
青白く神々しい月読命だけが
心を砕き月世界の平穏を保っていた
但し皆既月食の夜だけは皆が眠りに就いた
其れは月読命の秘密を隠すため
さて或る朔の夜
輝夜なる幼き月女は遊びに夢中で月世界の昏きを忘れ
遂に見てしまった
輝かず闇に包まれし月の神の姿を
輝夜は思わず声を出した
何故に月読様は自ら輝かぬ哉
月読命は唯一の弱みを見られ怒り狂い
輝夜を天孫降臨間も無き地上へ貶めた
姉上の偉大と脅威と恩恵と呪縛を知れ
地上最初の武具竹やりに籠められし輝夜は
なよ竹担う翁に発見され
其れは大切に育てられた
其の頃の地上は未だ国造りの最中に在り
人は老衰死を持たなかった
天孫の血濃い帝は月から落ちた姫を見初め
二人は深い長い恋に落ちる
月読命は月人が姉の支配せし地上への干渉を恐れ
急ぎ輝夜を迎えに従者を送った
輝夜は月への帰還を拒んだ
優しい翁姥そして愛しき帝と離れたくなかった
やがて月人と地人との初の戦が始まった
現代に伝わりし御伽噺とは異なり
地上人が月人を其の日光で眩ませ
輝夜は選別に持たせた不死の妙薬を盗んだ
腹痛の薬が腹痛を止めると同じく
不死の薬は不死を止める毒だった
其れは月読命が天照大神に逆らった瞬間でもあった
姉を恐れる月読命への対抗手段たる毒を
輝夜は富岳の頂に隠した
しかし富岳は毒を嫌い自らを砕き噴火した
其れは地上に老に因る死が発現した瞬間でもあった
地上人は毒を吸い込み地上に老衰年が蔓延した
呼吸せぬ輝夜だけが老いも死も知らず延命した
天照大神は老衰を許した
戦を好む人への罰だった
皆が死んでいく中輝夜は
もう一度地上を不死の世界へ引き戻そうと試みた
五つの宝を揃えむと五人の勇者を犠牲にした
幾度も犠牲と失敗を繰り返し未だ地上には老いと死が蔓延る
輝夜は今も尚探し続ける
五つの宝を人を不死へ戻す薬をそして
死に変わり生まれ変わる愛しき翁姥と帝を
霊峰富士は呪われし毒の峰
沸き出づる清水は老衰の薬
輝夜は眠る待つ探す
月を恨み日に焼かれ
老いもせず
死にもせず
今この刹那も探し続ける
この地上に永遠を復活させむがため
愛しき人々と巡り会うため

pSo once again.

There wanted to be always me with you.
I wanted to laugh in the next to you.

However, it is the other people whom there is not with me now that laugh in the next to you.

It cannot move to turn constant in a season with only my having stopped.
Whenever I am good and come to this park which I visited with you though I was in my right side without you with the intention why I was used a little, I will cry so much why.

If it is the love that does not come true anymore, it is only courage to forget you that was left for me.

I still remember it.

Even as for the scenery seen in your favorite phrase, your gesture and the other side of your shoulder.

Our memory that was in high spirits in a trifle wins through up to my heart irrelatively in a season and revives vividly.

You and I snuggle up and, in the photograph which I photographed at dusk of the spring when we met you, are bashful bashfully.

But I could not help being already glad only by a photograph coming out with you.

As for us, expectation did not assume that such a separation came in those days.

I did not blink, and I stared at you of a moment to part and was able to be stuck to eyelids.

Though it was settled separation, I watched only you without I still yearned for you, and watching reality.

I still yearn for you and cannot delete your number from a mobile telephone.
I look at an initial column of your name many times.

My finger remembers your phone number that I should have forgotten in a head.
Because I may come to hear nothing else, only your voice wants to listen, and I can never part with a mobile telephone.

Have a feeling that I seem to have a wrong phone call from you if I lend it.
So once again.

If I think about such a thing and sleep, I wake up for the touch that tears get cheeks wet.

Your back figure who wore a black jacket snuggled up with few somebody with me and, in a dream, went away.

You pass out of sight, and at last I return to reality and invite the morning when relief and despair mingle.

You disappeared from my side extremely naturally so that a bird returned to a forest so that the sun set in the west.

As for the no matter how small no matter how small memory of me when take it, is a treasure, and is the cruel memory that does not want to remember at the same time.

However, I can see only you whenever I watch machete in a dream.

Parting time came.

Good-bye.
Parting time came.
A reason to be divided please hear anything.

Please run towards the future without turning around.
In fact, I was afraid of that this day came.
My love to you does not touch you anymore tomorrow.

Though I hold you in my chest in this way and want to protect you from all evils, it is the dream that I do not have realized.

Because the reason is because you cut off a past chain entirely, and it is wounded all over, and it has begun to walk without I am tied up in the past, and can move from here.

I who was bound with a spell do not have art detaining you.

Both carried a permissible thing and the thing that were not forgiven because of youth on their back because of youth and chose a steep way daringly.

It is only to pray that I murmur that good-bye with good luck many them that I am worked as by you.

However, I will say that you are uneventfulness-free.

You suffer hardship in angry waves and take pains and are hurt and will go through one's faith.

I am attracted by recklessness of such you and love you and part with you.

With all warrior's destiny and love and grief, as for sending it to you, good-bye a word.

w無断死

このド阿呆野郎超身勝手事故憐憫のナルシスト
テメエが死んだ日がまた今年も来たよ
選りにも選って日本じゃ黄金週間のド真ん中の子供の日
そりゃあ勝手にしやがれって言ったのは確かだけど
っつーて勝手に死にやがって逝っちまいやがってよ
いろんな人が毎日死ぬ
数多の死をわたしも見てきた
認めたくないと我が身可愛さに逃げもした
けどさやっぱ死ってのは真正面から受け入れなきゃな
でないと死にやがった奴が昇っていけないっていうよ
自分が生き残されたのは
嘆き悲しむため心底弔うため本気で泣くため
自分が泣いてやらず死を受け入れず現実逃避してちゃ
誰もそいつのために弔いをしてくれない
誰も本気で泣いて怒って悲しまねえだろ
そいつが好きならなおのこと本気で悲しめよ
死人は悪態でもいいから自分のこと話したり思い出したりして欲しいもんだ
忘れないでやれよ目が潰れるくらい泣いてやれよ胸が張り裂けるほど悲しめよ
愛する何かの死を受け容れられないってのは完全自己愛だ
まあ無断で死にやがった阿呆も馬鹿だけどよ
死ぬにはそれなりの苦しみを突き破って死んだんだ
生と死を天秤にかけて死のほうの価値が重たく傾いたとき人は自殺する
高等動物の証拠だな
下等動物は食い合うが自死はしねえからな
だからさ其処のあんさんも
逃げずに向き合えよ
受精の瞬間から目的となりゴールとなる死ってヤツに
うちらは沢山の精子を殺して生まれてきたんだぜ
うちらは毎日何かを屠って生き延びてンだぜ
うちらも必ず死ぬんだぜ
せやでそう急ぐなや
待ってりゃ必ず死んでそいつに会えるんだぜ
天国か地獄かでそいつと再会したとき
胸張って先に逝ったそいつの頬っぺた張り倒せるように
精一杯苦しんで悲しんで負けてもがいて魘されて死のう
そのためには先ず生きなきゃな
死んでないだけの生きてない奴は死ねねえよ
肉体が滅んでも魂はこの塵界を流離うだけよ
ちゃんと死ぬため今を生きろよ
生きるため大事な誰かの死を認めろよ
もう逃げんじゃねえ
もう逃げ切れねえよ
もう死んじまったんだから
もうそいつが居ない現実でしか生きも死にもできねえんだから
認めろよ
そいつの死を延期させられなかった自分の小ささと弱さを
信じろよ
生き残った意味を義務を権利を恩恵を
遠からずきっとまた会える
愛しい誰か何かに必ず
だからまだ生き続けろ
だからもう目一杯泣け
わたしの知人死亡者リストは日々長く長く連なっていく
早くそん中に加わりたいけどさ
其のために今を苦しもう今を生きよう今を嘆こう
まだそいつが生きてる気がするってのは妄想だよ
もうそいつは死んじまったんだ完全にこの世から
早く綺麗な姿で会えるよう
煉獄で焼け爛れた面にならないよう
あんさんだけちゃうよ
皆誰か何かの死を背負って生きてる
笑って見送るのは無理でもせめて笑って思い出してやれよ
生き残った意味を意義をじっくり噛み締めて苦味味わって
今を生きよう
死に向かって
再会のために
この記事を評価する

wr君待つ春寒し

未だ春寒し
ユトリロの描けり白き壁に我が影のみ映る
傍らに居りし彼は何処や
春潮に流せし彼への手紙一通
住所も切手も無く唯愛し彼の名と
帰り待つ我が悲しみのみ墨滲めり
涅槃西風生まれし国へどうかこの想い届かむと祈る
海岸に佇む我を一頻り春雷が襲う
一人なら恐ろしく二人なら楽し春の雷轟く
人目憚らずにて彼に我が身を摺り寄せられる故に
此処に彼居らば早よ来たれや雷よ
水草生う季節に此れ迄捨てて来しもの数え
花曇りの夕べに今迄に捨てられし痛み数え
何れが多いやとまた悩む
春なれば暁忘れ眠りたし
虫も目覚める季節柄なれど彼無き我は唯眠りたし
花弁開く音さえ耳打つ
薄雲流る音さえ響けり
此れほどに静かなる独居の寂しさには決して慣れることなく
幾万の中を選びて我が肩に降り落つ桜花
淡く愛しく君が重なる
暁に想い白昼に夢見夕べに泣きて今
月光に映える辛夷の花が空に浮き風に揺れおり
立ち止まらぬ時の流れに運ばれて生あるものは
生まれ出会い別れ老い死せるのみ
逆らえられぬ瑠璃星の掟
逆らう抗う我は無残に老い行く
逆らわぬ君面影を唯に追い行く
浮かれし春の街に沈む心蹴りつつ転がし
今日もまた明け暮れ
時を費やし命を屠り
君を待つ

Sweet and bitter.

永遠の愛など有り得ない
そんな常識わたし達皆
気付いている
其れでも尚愛を誓う
嘘をつく勇気が
寄り添うには必要なの
あなたのために欺くわたしと
わたしを騙せないあなたとは
所詮遠からず別れる運命よね
あなたが守るものが
大き過ぎるから
其れを捨ててと
安心してわたし
要求できるのよ
気にしないでね
身勝手な片思い
あなたの破局を
願うわたしには
ハッピーエンドは訪れない
それでいいの
それがいいの
不幸気取りで
自己陶酔して
わたし一人満足だから
あなたへ送るチョコレートは
少しビターな洋酒入り
甘くてほろ苦い
緩やかな酔いは
わたし達にぴったりよ

Nothing excuse to me.

I am not going to hear a single word that you say.
You do not do a nothing excuse to me.

You threw away all which we built wonderfully and obtained love as somebody and you who were tender only for a pretense expected it.

I become a lie if I say that I do not yearn for you.
However, I do not chase you.
The reason is because I understand that I can never catch up with it.

I see you off without any art.

If it is tomorrow, I talk about today to a friend as the yesterday's thing as there was nothing and repeat a glass to be able to hold it to get drunk.

Collapse with you will be noticed nobody.
A heart to be frightened by of loneliness shows it nobody.
Thus it is good.

Because even if no matter how much all are to freezing with a no matter how beloved person in the situation inside, all the human beings are lonely at a bottom of a heart.

However, mind seems to be out of order unless you bury the hole which there was able to be on my chest by some means or other.

Tell me it.

Everybody keeps on bearing this loneliness how?

Anyone would experience a serious wound of lost love once.

Though this collapse was not the first time, even I did not feel sad so much either.

My heart was filled up for emptiness to exceed a pain.

Therefore will the swing that had nothing be possible?
I do it in this way, and will all become strong?
Is it to become an adult?

If I deceive oneself and another person, and, however, only you know the truth and fit it to an adult if you bear such miserable situation, I am good as a child eternally.

As for the time, I am cruel.
Both I and you get old irresistibly.

I give it off to an old man even if I wish that there want to be the authority of りだ, me as a child no matter how much.

I become an old man by all means even if I do not become an adult.
Therefore I will take this reality.

I stop imagining the excuse that you did not say in self-centeredness, and you will thank the mercy that nothing said to.

I will be ashamed of littleness as the human being that I was going to hear nothing.

One did not abandon the other and will believe that I left it naturally each other.

When this separation is an opening of a new encounter, I will have hope.

The devil whispers it at my ear which is going to recover itself desperately.

It will be what a mutable reality that "an encounter is a parting opening, but parting does not promise an encounter".

That is why the human being would create liquor.
It will be what merciful truth.

Though truly I do not always accord with reality, it can be it to the lonely human being whom only a person swimming in both interval well can call with a winner.

If swimming is clumsy, it is a venturer eternally.

I will continue having an adventure till I die.
I do not look for you anymore.

There will be it with a free challenger freed from you.
It is to begin with tomorrow entirely.

I cry with bad grace miserably with all one's might today and will spend it.
I yearn for you.

rThe mother earth.

Beast, bird, fish, insect and human being, all of us are brothers born on the mother earth.

Though I was completely discriminated by the present age, and it was distinguished and had got separated, all of us were born in the great sea and were brought up in the hill where a lotus flower bloomed.

In hope of the happiness that each all balanced with each, I stared at the setting sun all together and gave prayer to the earth by each words.

However, we are going to protect only an article visible gradually and are about to forget mercy of the earth which is mother.

Because I noticed the ingratitude now, I return tonight in the ancient times and I thank for the earth in that hill while smelling a smell of soil and will sleep.

I will sail up a river of the life.
Roots of sorrow may be found if I do so it.

I will continue walking to meet the person whom only alone should love whom there is somewhere of this star without still crying now.

We completely believe human supremacy principles handed down and set in a marsh of arrogance and soak myself in tepid water of the laziness.

A boundary line pulled between families crushes a heart of the creatures which were one once like a fragment of a puzzle at all deeply than I thought.

I will think about starlit sky.

I will let you go up a heart high in the sky to be able to look around it far and widest.

I will look around the distance so that it is shared a pain of pleasant somebody who is in an end of this star more.

I will walk forever so that it is felt warmth of most beloved somebody whom there is surely somewhere of this star.

Therefore I do not yet cry.
You do not cry, too.

Because the sun which is the root of life rises to your country by all means, do not throw away hope.

I will let a downright flower bloom on this way which I walked while being bleeding last.

Though I agree at the same sometimes same place, and all nobody cannot love a thing in the same way, I return sometime in the ancient times and will continue walking the setting sun together so that it is given view prayer without still crying now.

I surely visit you on that day.
I believe so it and will sail up a river of this life.

By joining by hands.

Where will I be at the tomorrow's this time?
Whom will there be you with at this time of the day after tomorrow?
Will we become separated at this time of the next year?

Do you think about such a thing, too?

I grasp your hand so that your heart and my heart do not pass each other.

Even if a blue sky reflected in your mesh is stained with gray of sorrow, I remember the days when I please laughed with me to you and want you to regain a smile.

Though it is me that take out you who look down when I am disappointed in a trifle, it is me that is saved your tears whenever it can stop.

I do not sometimes understand which cheers up which.
However, it is sure that you are very important for me.

When you stop tears and show a smile, I am encouraged very much.

I am dazzling, and the brightness lets you darken me in the way that I perform it somewhere you cross a rainbow at the same time, and to get a dream.

You are me sometime; do forget it for the moment?

Can I wave good-bye and a hand to you laughingly at the time?

Do you who laugh in the next to me think about such a thing in the same way as me now?

I strongly grasp your hand before repeating the heart that seems to leave it by force.

Even if there are all the creatures with anyone, in fact, I am lonely.

All anyone cannot but get over genuine pains and sorrow with oneself alone.

However, when you bite a lip and bear tears, I want you to remember pleasure when you please joked with me.

It is only for it to be it to a clown now that I am done you of to stop your future tears.

When you are too hot only for a memory, you should call me anytime.

I rush to the place where you are by a one call and look up at the sky together till your tears dry.

As for the tears and the pain, the future surely lives; will help it.

I play a clown hard to have you remember it.
I sing a song of delight only for you.
I have a feeling that you leave it, and my true intention wants to burst into tears.
I part with a dream having now, and do we forget it sometime?

We will stare at each other in the future from reality side, and may we who became another person be correct quite now?

What can I of the real face speak for you if I stop a swing of a clown?

Though I think in various ways, I cannot do it for nothing words.

I will strongly hold your handle in reality at least before our love to differ fails.

Our heart may be connected by joining by hands if I lend it.

Such a thing gives prayer to me towards a blue sky so that people in the world connect a hand and a hand with reality if possible.

The cold flame.

My heart completely dried, and a small chap has begun to enter.

Broken-hearted we met you in last summer and healed a wound of a heart each other.

We cling to the love that seems to fade away now
and I disobey it in a season we change, and to go and agree with the sun in the height of summer and keep temperature a heart each other,
and we are deeply in love.

When I strongly hug you, you are thin in the way that you compromise.

Am I the cause that I let you get thinner that much?
Because you answer nothing, my heart is disturbed.

You get rid of me who am slovenly and are going to flap.
I do not have art to leave you as.

You tell it about the past, and I talk about the present.

While I talked many times, I knew a pain to be informed of and hotness to tell it about a lot.

We abandon a title whenever over such night and become a nameless just man and woman.

I begin to be at a loss by the future if I forgive your past.

Even if our heart leaves it even if words break off, there will be it with you now.

I want to watch your eyes.
I want to kiss to your raven-black hair.

The greed that I cannot finish hiding overflows ceaselessly.

I hesitate whether I expect more than this whether I am good as it is and cannot control oneself.

Though love does not have form, I demand it whether form is a certain what.

It is calm that I am hurt, but hates injuring you.

The night when I cannot sleep continues so that it is attracted by you.

I want to touch you right now.
I feel your sign when.

Among crowds of a town of noon, I am seized with the impulse that wants to appeal for your reputation aloud.

My passion for you of me continue being deeply in love.

I am burnt till I run out of energy and will fester.
By the cold flame which you emit,
I will cleanse my crime.

wうr桜降る

月がせせらぐ
雲がながれる
砂が舞い踊る
其れは怒りか嘲りか
鳥が啼く
風が鳴く
鬼が哭く
此れは祝いか呪いか
咲く桜
散る桜
踏む桜
薄紅色に世界を染め
天地黄玄の理を乱す
今旅立つは
遠流の罪か
近流の罰か
何れ笑う哂う嗤う
狂いの春に似合う
蒼天蒼海桜の地
死人の血を吸い
朱なる桜
乱れ吹き
出立を唯見送る
願い叶うは
何時何処如何に
何一つ寄辺無く
頼るは己が身一つ
漂う如く世を渡る
浮世に浮かばれず
流れに立つ瀬溢れ
消えたしと祈る心
星降る夜に
月射す帳に
曙照る闇に
傅き拝む神も消ゆ
塵芥と人界
疎いに同じ
我が身さえ
持て余さる
春の夜
斯様な刻は
涙止まらぬ
桜吹雪の宵闇に
独り座す
この記事を評価する

rWild energy.

Wild energy rises in my body and overflows.
I let the hot blood streaming down a blood vessel boil, and I will stand up now.
I do not merely wait for a miracle and will stand up with one's foot to cause a miracle by oneself.
Because you told you that I was not lonely, courage welled up.

Even if conventional I did anything, I took it, and it was left behind even if I do say so myself without can follow circumference surprisingly.

I threw out on the way by all means even if I found a thing to be able to be sometimes absorbed in.

I fell into self-hate at every it and beat oneself up by oneself.
I thought that thus I was good.
It gave me up generally.

I lost a maze of the life, and an exit stopped walking even if crowded without being found.

I looked at the moon which shined to seven colors and looked up at only the sky without anything doing it by oneself forever.

I believed that somewhere or a blue bird of happiness flew sometime, and I could open, and but I waited for a window.
Nothing happened.
I am much lonelier.

It was spread in a trifling bad-mouth, and I threw away a hometown.

It was expected from nobody all too soon, and I came to expect it nobody, too.

When the very thin life was over with flatness successively all the time, I became desperate.

At time of such momentum, you appeared suddenly in my close at hand.
My heart shook.
The blood of my bodies boiled and braced me up.

You taught me how to walk.
I was not lonely anymore and told you that there was not it as for the time of solitude since I was born.

I said that I should have lived as me.
Wild energy wells up to my body.

A heart pulsates powerfully and pushes me away before.
I walk to the direction that this wild nature shows.
Because there is you next to me now all the time though it is not entered together, I surely stand up and show it.

And I shut myself up and break through treasure and go out.
I understood that I was not lonely anymore.
I am afraid of nothing anymore.
Because I overcame the most fearful loneliness.

Not to be sorry.

Though there is not a reason, innumberable numerical tears overflow.
Teach me the reason.

I repeat a question without an answer as ever and wander in the world.
I blame oneself without a reason at the night that is loneliness almost tonight.

If my sorrow, hatred, loneliness fade and will disappear if you are in the neighbor, you are in the place where my hand does not reach.

A star loads an invisible night sky with the wish that I can say nobody and prays.

I strongly pray so that my heart does a severe earthquake.
Please meet you tomorrow.

If I was able to meet you this time, I grasp your hand firmly and never take my eyes off it.

I am kind, and I wrap up your small hand which I have separated from oneself at that time this time.

I promise not to make you sad anymore.
I brought myself to have possibilities to believe that love with you and me was immortal before.

I did not think that you were separated from me.
When that love was eternity, I nursed delusions.

When the thing which did not change led to nothing nothing Ino only among us all the time as it is, I mistook it, and I who was arrogant was able to be hurt with you.

However, I loved you seriously all the time.
I misunderstood it when I always hugged all of you carefully.
I become weak now in the way that my heart demands you and is broken.

If you push me, surely my heart breaks into a particle and will be scattered.
It is scary, and please hug me who shake a finger-tip.
If there is not it, it is not possible to make a heart of me who became fragile strong with you.

I call your name aloud in a pitch-black night sky and continue crying.
I continue crying intensely so that both a throat and the sky burst.
At last I understood it.
I need nothing besides you.
I put apology and thanks, and I appeal for your reputation.
Please meet it.
Do not refuse me.
There be it near me.
Because I am not sorry and promise this time unless I let you be sorry, let me do it once again.

Do not you have regrets to demand me from a fragment in the same way?
If love to me is left in you a little, meet my cry to cause you.
Rush if I can do it.
I am depressed by sense of regret so as not to be able to move, and it is crushed by loneliness.

It is only world you alone that I can save such me who am wretched.
Please call my name once again.
Grasp the hand which please scratches my sky.
And as for this time of regret will live by together so that there is not it.

I never do such regret and do not let you do it.
My thought to love you piles up every day.
Though I made an effort to forget you, I was useless.
All of my five senses memorizes you.
Regret raises only the same weight.

You, meet my appeal once again across a night sky.
If you demand me, I drag broken hands and feet and will rush to your bottom.
And I hug you.

It is hard, and I hug you so that we never leave it not to let you be sorry not to be sorry this time.

wrええやんか生きはったら

まあまあ遠くから良う来はったなあ
いうても此処にはお茶もお菓子も座布団も無いで
此処にあるんは
自殺未遂の生き恥曝しの見世物小屋
寄席には針の筵
垂れ流すはうちの毒含んだ言葉ばっかや
ゆっくり休んでいかはれとは決して言われへん
せやけど此処は
悪口罵詈雑言喚き散らすにはうってつけやで
精精ぶち撒けて行かはれ
何やあんた足血塗れや
如何したのや胸元はゲロこびりつけて
あんた血反吐の塊やな
疲れたろ
親の顔見るのも怖い
外に出るのが恐がい
他人と良う話せやん
朝寝て夜起きる生活
電子レンジの音さえ憚って冷凍のピザ其のまま食うんか
道理で青い顔しとるな
生きとるだけで迷惑な存在やと自分で言うんか
良う分かっとるやんか
誰かに構って欲しくてリスカ繰り返すも自殺する勇気は無い
親の金で行かせて貰ろうた学校も殆ど欠席
其の嫌ったらしい学校折角出たんに何処にも勤めに出られへん
結局は家族に囲まれ家族を怖がり家族に守られ家族を疎い
夜中にのそのそ起きては電波に頼る友人とお遊びか
ええ身分やなあ羨ましいわ
うちは親をあんまり知らんで
そう睨むなって全部自分で言わはった現実やんか
せやけど真実は違うもんやで
今はそうやってこの針の筵も心地良う仰臥しとるが
残酷にも春は来る
春が来れば勢い良く筍があんたの身を貫くで
同じ勢いで血潮が噴き出す
そしてあんたは始めて自分の血を舐めるのや
出血で気が遠くなって手足が冷とうなって
初めて生きとると実感するやろ
其のときにやっと分かる
自分が本当に生きたいのか死にたいのか
今のあんたは死んどらんいうだけの骸や
肉と一緒に魂も腐るで
今はまだ腐っとらんわ
せやかて自己嫌悪してはんのやろ
何度しくじっても血管切っとんのやろ
生きとる証拠考えとる証拠足掻いとる証拠死んどらん証拠
ほら今あんたの背中に若竹が突き刺さった
もうすぐ胸を突き破るやろ
血飛沫が見事やろな
うちは此処でのんびり見とったるわ
あんたは必ず血を止めようともがき
きっとやっと自分の意思で起き上がる
自分の手で自分に開いた穴塞ごうとする
失った血を取り戻そうと草や虫や獣を食う
そして生き直せるのや
遅くない全くまだ間に合う若過ぎる
世を嘆くにはあんたまだまだ苦労知らずやわ
うちかて知らんけどな本当の世間の鬼なんて
多分誰も知らんとちゃうんか
自分が苦しいと思うたら其れが生きた証やで
胸張って血流して反吐垂れて進みなはれ
うちからは二言だけ
生きなはれ
せやないと死ねへんで
生きてもおらんもんが如何って死ねるかいな
次の一言
ええやんか生きてはっても
死んだって誰も悲しまんし何も変わらんなら生きとったってええやんか
ちっぽけなもんや人間一匹なんて
けど一息毎に必ず空気中の微生物を胃酸で溶かして殺しとる
誰もが毎日何かを殺して生き延びとる
其の責任は重たいで
其の分だけは生きようや
其の分だけでええ
生きとれば必ず悪いことがある
生きとるからって良いことがあるとは限らん
死んだって同じや
ならええやんか生きてはったら
なんやお茶の代わりに毒飲ましたみたいやな
此処はそういう場所
寂しいもんが心寄せ合う優しい場所やない
弱いもんは食われる場所や
もう行かはるか其れがええこんな所留まるもんやない
血と一緒くたに頭と胸の腐汁もぶち撒いたようや
すっきりしたええ顔してはるで
そのまま血糊と反吐を引き摺り歩いて行きなはれ
きっともっとずっと強うなって生き直せる
ええやんか生きなはれ死ぬまでは
もう聞いてへんな
其れでええ其れがええ
うちは動けるようになるまで此処で血流しとるわ
見捨ててさっさと行きなはれ生きなはれ
ご多幸を祈っとるで遥かにな
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w春朧

憎ませて
愛されないならせめてもと
忘れ得ぬ君の面影に乞う
春の入日は朧なるを以ち
桜と菜の花の競演や如何にか見事
暮れなずむ街に君の遺灰が舞う
あの世この世を行き惑うか
なれば我道に立ちて君を導かむ
野末に春日傾くこの時
もう聞こえぬ君の言葉
もう聞き返さぬ我が安堵
君の過去には踏み込めず踏み込まぬ
唯偏に君愛しばかり
帰る鳥は弔いの列に並び行く
悲しむか嘆くか喜ぶか我が心定まらず
君の不在に理由をこじつける
梅桜菜の花咲く稀有なる景色に春は朧
白梅の咲き零れおり
紅梅の薫りおきては
菜の花や東風に戦ぐ
春遅きこの地にては南方の海の眩しさ目に染む
西の浄土が真っ赤に焼ける頃
君はまだ逝き迷うか
往く雁に宵の明星光滴らせ先を照らし
逝く君に蝋燭の火炎捧げて末を照らし
解けゆくまんさくの花細く黄色く縮れた花弁に
春の臆病を知る
春の朧夕は魑魅魍魎も躍り出すかと思わせる
花見にて桜吹雪に酌み交わすはずの酒杯は空
君の亡き世の春朧
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When it is the future.

I understood it.
Though I laughed, as for you, your true intention oozed out from words over a telephone this morning.

It was a parting notice.
You are tender so as not to be able to show a true feeling in a mouth.
But the gentleness is cruel adversely.
Because regrets to you increase.

Though both you and I know, in fact, how all the first can find happiness, I love so as not to be able to practice it.

I am not thin so as I easily delete this love, and to be able to put it away.
As for you, it was not told me that tonight was our Last Supper after all.
Because I understand it well, you need to say anything.
Let's part neatly in the last.

Even if it is the future and remembers tonight, I do not cry, and let's part neatly.
Therefore I behave same as usual times and will not be said to be the last by tonight.
I dissolve hair according to when the and wait for you.

You visit my room in usual time, and let's go to a usual cafe.
And I pretend to know nothing and will play.
I will joke foolishly very innocently.

I will play a lot so as it is the future and remembers today, and to be able to laugh.
I murmur that good-bye to you alone so that you do not hear it.

And it is the arrival of the Last Supper.

Let's drink wine to always order at a favorite restaurant.
I want you to see me to my room to always go without saying anything.
Though I prepare, I wish that that signal do not become blue as it is on one's way back.

I am just two of us, and you and I want to cease to breathe in this car at a red light all the time as it is.

A usual way carries us to a parting spot cruelly.
And you did not say really a single word good-bye and I left me and ran off by car.

I who was left left for you whom parting was hit with being stupid and I was small carefully and prayed.

In my true intention being more ignominious.
You cause an accident on the way and think my true intention to be able to never meet that woman.

However, this ending feels best.

Because if there is it together as it is, we can be surely hurt each other and curse it and will hate each other.

I try to live alone from tomorrow.
I will cry with all one's might tonight.

When it is the future and remembers loneliness tonight, encourage oneself.

Cherry blossoms.

The season when cherry blossom petals are scattered is the season when all the people pass each other.

Everybody parts from the person who does not want to part and meets the person who does not want to meet.

Though they watch the same sky, a feeling regrets an encounter without reaching it at all, and, under cover of a crowd, all of us regret parting.
There is little nice parting, and there are few sad encounters.

In this town where such an agony of separation comes and goes, will we understand it sometime?

A fragrance of the plum which feels same east Blowin' in the Wind is different in all.

I yearn, and there is it, and I am sad, and a fragrance of a certain plum is already deleted for a spring breeze, and cherry blossoms without a fragrance finish dyeing.

I do not know everyone about you, and you know only my part, too.

Therefore can you be gentle?

If all intellect closes, we will surely part.

Old things do not matter.

If there is you who are in the very front now.

Any kind of stain may be on in your past.

I do not tell my past and am not going to hear your past.

You and I are afraid of even a slight quarrel.

There is not a trifling quarrel and will be destined to be scattered to relation between you and me who told a bunch of an excuse and lies like cherry blossom petals.

The joy that we tasted together and joy and sorrow and hardship are all empty if not used to honesty.

I want to ask a decoy.

Will you dye all the hearts of creatures in the world into pinkness?

Light pinkness is a color of our flesh.

Surely the contents and appearance are equal to it and we understand it and will toss it if I do so it.

If starvation shares both war and a disease together, surely lose weight; is taken its ease.

I am relieved of snow and force an ear on wet earth.
I hear beating of the earth.
I hear sadness of the earth.

Affection of the earth is felt.
Because it is a season of reproduction in spring, we can start all again now.

Warmth of the earth surely absorbs all sorrow even if I kill oneself by oneself even if I steal a thing even if I murder a person, and a dead thing is rebeared, and the thing which I broke is repaired and may return the thing which I stole quietly.

Nobody will blame them.
All is magic of spring.
All are fascination of cherry blossoms.

I will be deceived to cherry blossoms with pleasure.
Even if I kill myself even if you kill me even if probably I kill you because it is the season when a creature looks most beautiful, cherry blossom petals cover it.

Cherry blossoms cleanse the whole world.
Cherry blossoms may be to be flame of Purgatory.
Cherry blossoms are in full glory all at once and are scattered manfully.

Surely cherry blossoms will burn down crimes in the world once a year.

Therefore I burn an old crime and will be stained with a new crime.

I tell you a lie and deceive the world and deceive a family, and I pretend happy.

The best method.

A sound of wind seems to do not seem to stop tonight.

Such an uproar forces it, and my heart is disturbed at night and thinks about an unnecessary matter in a bed.

Only I alone is got rid of all over the world and feels like having you forgive it nobody.

I am troubled whether it was an ill omen whether the telephone which I had a call from you before one hour was a good omen.

Because because you have hung up only by a word having been said to "be alright."
You were going to say what?

Your word is mixed in a sound of wind and feels ominous.

Though I did not look, in a telescreen left on, somebody took a gun.

I was worried a little whom he pointed the gun to or whether I turned it to himself.

Thanks to you, it became even more depressed, and I gave volume of television.

Then I heard an even-like sound greatly, and more we became depressed.

You and I deceived you each other and avoided it and kept relations until today.

We replaced a lie with love and deceived it.
It may be to be the time when you should already follow an end.

More than this, I do not want to deceive you and do not want to forgive your lie.

A sound of wind is intense, and I cannot hear the lines that a speaker speaks.
But, in far-off one, a shot sounded.
The shot was scathing to break through our relations.

We are bound by a lie and love and cannot move.

I totally have handcuffs of a toy on oneself by oneself in a childhood and am funny almost the time when it does not come off and burst into tears.

I was going to break handcuffs and I injured both hands neck and cried.

I learn sense of incongruity whenever I ask it whether you love it to me.

A woman seems to want to check love in words and a thing.

A man believes that it is proof of silence love.

Therefore our feeling differs and leaves it and is just before failure now.

I must decide till new day breaks.
It is sure that I call you.

A problem is contents asking you.

I pretend ignorance, and should I induce you to a date?
Or should I ask you about a continuance of a telephone of an evening obstinately?
Like a thin roadside tree, my heart swings.

The reason why a sound of wind hurts feelings is that I express my hesitation.
I heard a shot once again.
A woman is dead in a telescreen.

A sound of wind adds to intensity, and it is totally a requiem.

Just after a shot in television, I heard a sound relation between us broke, and to be scattered.

A chief character of a drama followed a woman and pointed the muzzle to oneself.
I turned off television without it being born.

Because because a drama draws our reality to be similar precisely cruelly.

The relation between us seems to have been over before new day broke.

Probably it will be good-bye that you wanted to say over a telephone of an evening.

I had handcuffs on oneself by oneself in a dream and put the muzzle on the temple and pulled a trigger.

Thus it is good.

I will murder oneself before murdering you.
It is the best method.

Only it saves you, and it is an only method it releases it, and to be able to do.

wr春の雪

卯月初めに降る雪は
真冬に較べ汚れてる
さらさらと振り払うこともできず
べたべたと体温で解ける不快な雪
夕暮れに降り始めた雨が
未明には霙になり変わり
早朝のアスファルトの上
灰色に汚す
汚い雪はわたしに似てる
わたしみたい
季節外れで場違いで
誰からも歓迎されない
同属嫌悪の不快感
寒さに混じり
今日一日を生き抜く力が
根こそぎ抜けていく
靴は冷水が染みてきて
車は濁った飛沫を撥ね
上から下から横から
汚い雪がわたしを責める
お前も解けてしまえと
お前も不要なものだと
拭っても取れない泥が
オフィスでも言い張る
着替えればよいけれど
何となくの近親感覚え
一緒に過ごす
冬の終わりと春の始まりが
混在するこの季節には
別れと出会いも交錯し
負け惜しみみたいな春の雪が
鬱陶しく
愛しく
辛く
名残雪が桜吹雪に変わるまで
冷凍庫にとっておきたい
惨めなもの同士
慰めあうために

rp違法性阻却事由

或る嫌がる人を拉致監禁拘束首吊り幇助
或る生きた人の皮を剥ぎ動いている心臓を取り出す
そう言うと野蛮だが
どれも国家権力が合法化した業務上行為
警察は弁明を聞き入れず推定犯人を逮捕拉致監禁する
裁判官は検事に誘導され弁護士に惑わされ
被告に刑を言い渡す
有罪無罪が金で買える社会
医者は医療行為だからと
脳死状態の患者から臓器を摘出する
皮膚移植のため合意の下で皮を剥いで接ぐ
虫垂炎なら幼子でも麻酔で眠らせ腹を割く
其れが彼らの日常
次第に慣れていく
だが其れ等は間違いなく疑いなく罪害悪だ
誰も疑わないけれど
免許や試験に通っただけで
国から与えられた資格を盾に振るう暴力だ
普通の人が普通の人に対して同じことをしたら
速攻有罪なのに
皆で攻めるのに
資格があれば其れが許される歪んだ社会
疑いを抱かなくなり普通と思い込むのが
一番の恐怖だ
誰が始めたのかもう分からない常識達が
わたし達を呪縛して動けない毎日が来る
わたし達はもう麻痺してしまって
束縛と拘禁の気だるさに酔う
不自由の気楽さに身を委ねる
生死さえも他人任せで生きる
親だから教師だから警官だから医師だから裁判官だから
許してしまう罪の山を
本当に見過ごして良いのか?
免許を取れば権力を持つこの社会に
疑問を抱かなくて良いのか?
金銭を脅迫し
身柄を拘束し
生体を切除し
有無罪を決め
死刑さえ宣告
そんな権限を
人間が人間に振るい翳すこの社会に
どうか目を向けて欲しい
どうか目を逸らさないで
声を上げて欲しい
いかなる権力の前でもNoと言える勇気を失わないで欲しい
違う国へ行けば無罪
同じ国でも有罪判決
同じ地球の上で同じく地上を間借りする人間達
誰にも借金を支払わず恣意のまま蔓延る人間達
傲慢を少し除去して
謙虚で埋め合わせて
眺めて欲しい
同じ地上で無かったことにされる有罪と
無くても有ったことに宣告される無罪と
この朧月夜に
この桜吹雪に
自分の有罪無罪を
一度だけでも眺めて欲しい
法律に縛られ守られ生きる
脆弱なわたし達

wr紅慕情

雪解けの音は春の囁き
一つの雫が川の流れを作り大海へ旅に出る
暮れてゆく度に移り行く景色は
そっと季の悪戯
嗚呼何故だろう
冷たい水に優しさを感じるのは
凍える風に慈しみを感じるのは
わたしは冬の申し子だからか
わたしに春は似合わないのか
南に傾く春風は何も語らない
椿の花が落ち桜が咲く
梅の香は国中に漂い世界へと広がってゆく
全てが紅に染まる季節の節目は
そっと時の夢想
嗚呼何をだろう
こんなにも心が追い求めるのは
あんなにも皆優しいというのに
わたしは何を探すというのか
わたしは冬を願う生物なのか
眩しさ増す太陽は無言のまま
梅の香が掻き消される
黄沙が降る積もる舞い踊る狂ったかの如く
世界は黄に染まる赤き血を覆う
砂が傷めたか
風が凍みたか
この瞳には涙が滲む
誰が為でもなく自分の為に
誰を探すのか何を求めるのか何処を目指すのか
春の朧に思考が解けてゆき
このまま雪解けの雫になりたい
こうして舞い狂う砂になりたい
そうやってわたし世界中を巡る
巡礼でも呪術でもない
足跡を残す為に旅立ちたい
此処が嫌いなのではなくて
何処かがわたしを呼ぶから
紅も桃も黄も捨てて唯蒼く
染まりたい
溶けたい
眠りたい
生きたいかと自問自答する

行きたい往きたい逝きたい
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